Let's Talk
by PoetWITHOUTaCause
Summary: "Do you remember the afternoon of your Father's funeral? You were chopping your anger and hurt away. I found you and you told me how much you wanted it- you asked me if I thought you would make a good president." I laugh at the memory; such a bright day, a bright future. "You didn't realize that in my head, you already were." (PG) Fitz and Olivia admit some pent up feelings.


**entitled;** Let's Talk  
**summary; **"Do you remember the afternoon of your Father's funeral? You were chopping your anger and hurt away. I found you and you told me how much you wanted it- you asked me if I thought you would make a good president." I laugh at the memory; such a bright day, a bright future. "You didn't realize that in my head, you already were."_**  
**_**rating;** PG  
**disclaimer; **I was bored and messing around on tumblr when someone said Olivia _lost_ Fitz because she didn't assert herself, so that's what I did. Kind of.

* * *

The phone rings. I look over at it in the dark. Was he seriously calling me? Did he not have enough respect to pretend he didn't know I wasn't sleeping? Of course not. The rings go on. One ring, two rings, three rings, four, five, "Hi."

"Hi." He says back. His voice quiet and distant. Of course it's distant. "How's your head?" He asks.

"Hurting; and yours?" I smart back into my phone. He is probably sitting in his big chair with his feet in the desk, scotch in his right hand twirling the amber liquid round and round. He sighs into the phone, a bored sigh. "My heads fines, Liv." I laugh.

"How did you do it, Olivia? Betray me?" His question is quiet. It takes me a second to form an answer at the sudden change of the conversation. "I told myself that it was the right thing. I cried as I made that decision. It was hard, you know, all the voices in my head. Cyrus's and Jerry's, Hollis and Mellie's- even yours just revolving around in my head. Took me until the last day we were all sitting around the table in the plane. And I just said yes. We would've lost because of Ohio. Three tiny counties that make the difference and we would've lost. If we won, it would put Hollis in the top ranks, Verna on the bench, Cyrus as chief of security, and Mellie as First Lady, which she always wanted." I heard a breath of air, a thinking sigh this time. I was quiet, waiting for him to answer.

"What did it get you?" That I was not expecting. He hasn't cared about what I wanted in ten long months. Everyone asks that question and I never answer.

"Are we on a secure line?" I try to lead him away, change the topic.

"Yes." A minute passes. "What did it get you?" He wasn't biting; he wanted my answer.

"Do you remember the afternoon of your Father's funeral? You were chopping your anger and hurt away. I found you and you told me how much you wanted it- you asked me if I thought you would make a good president." I laugh at the memory; such a bright day, a bright future. "You didn't realize that in my head, you already were."

"That doesn't answer my question. Everyone had something to gain. What about you? The Chief Secretary of Press?"

"I didn't expect anything. I just wanted you to be happy."

"I was. With you. I love you." I'm quiet. I don't talk again. I sit and listen to the intake and dispelling of his breath. I could almost sleep. "Mellie said Cyrus was the one who put it all into motion." His voice was low, like always when my eyes opened as quickly as the fire lit in me.

"You think Cyrus made me do it? Yeah, he talked me into it. They all did. I'm done lying and spinning a web I can't keep up with. That isn't me. But you? You're listening to Mellie. Mellie, Mr. President. Your wife, who, in her own way, is a dragon and not one you want thrown against you. But you're buying into all her crap. Cyrus didn't make her do a damn thing! She said yes! She said it without persuasion. I was the last one, Mr. President. I was the vote- the swinging vote. You want someone to blame- blame me because without me, the rigging wouldn't have happened!

"You stop punishing Cyrus and you throw all of your damn scotch out the window because like it or not you are the president of the free world-"

"Liv-"

"And you don't get to give up. It's not you, because like it or not, I know you. We don't get to give up. It's not in our job description. I didn't betray you- so stop convincing yourself I did. I made one mistake and it will haunt me because I did wrong. I was wrong and I knew it, but my fear was stronger because you and I- we worked so hard to let this go and you were meant for this, to lead people and to tell them what to do. You wanted the presidency and I knew you were the president. You were a once in a generation find, Fitz." I took a long deep breath and heard only a faint breath at the other end. "And you know what else? You ruined me, too. I ruined you and you ruined me. I can't be happy with anyone else because you're in my head. You follow me around and I can't let you go and you have no idea how hard I've tried. So you know what? I'm not letting you go. Do you understand?" Just a breath. "I said: do you understand, Mr. President?"

"You still love me?" His voice was a wondering tone, and bit of a surprised infliction.

"I'm in love with you. I love you. We're in this together." I repeat the words from two or so years ago in the rose garden. Our spot. "You know now so get over it. Let Cyrus back in, stop letting Mellie run you house, and get these camera's out of my apartment or so help me, Mr. President."

"Is that a threat?" He whispers.

"Don't you wish." I tease back to him over the phone.

"Oh, you have no idea. I am the most powerful man in this country-"

"So act like it!" I all but yell into my phone before throwing it down onto the receiver; somehow all our conversations it seemed ended like that: in a fight. I feel like that conversation went 8 different ways in a matter of 5 minutes that we were actually on the phone. My hands shake and I rush to my kitchen, abandoning the warm covers for some cool wine to steady my nerves.

* * *

He hands me my coffee as he walks toward me with a spring in his step. "Whatever you told him, it worked." Cyrus says as he sits on the bench. I look at him with a raised eyebrow and a bemused smile.

"I'm sorry?"

"Oh don't give me that, Liv." He pardons me and I laugh. "He actually hasn't had one glass all day! And him and Millie? No fights- well, he won't let her into the office actually." He laughs at that one and I smile at his child- like exuberance. I take a sip of my coffee, the creamy, richness of it sliding easily down my throat.

I pat his leg as I check my watch. "I have to run, Cy. We got a big client this week." I stand and make a grab for my purse when Cyrus lays his hand on my wrist making me look at him.

"He wants to see you, Liv." He tells me and I feel butterflies rise up into my stomach. "He's worried about you ever since…" He trails off but I know he's talking about the supposed break in. "And he can't sleep." I sigh as he lets go of my wrist, letting me stand up straight.

"I miss him, too." I admit to Cy. "But there isn't a future for us and I can't let myself do that again." I look up into the shiny, clear sky. I think over my parting words to him before I let them leave my mouth. "Tell him that I miss him, too." I say quickly before walking away to head back towards the office.

* * *

Quinn is waiting for me as I get there. Her brown hair is pulled back into a ponytail and her suit is a black skirt with black Louis Vuitton pumps and a blue dress shirt. "Is he in my office?" I ask as I shrug off my coat and lay it over my arm as I open the doors to the hall leading to my office; she nods. "Good. Get him some coffee and see if Huck has decrypted any more of those files. We need them." I tell her as she splits off from me into the kitchen area. "Abby!" I call and she comes out from her office, falling into step with me as I go. Her red, straight hair opposing my black, curled hair; she's in dress pants and a white shirt. "I need you to take Harrison and to go back to the crime scene. Find anything you can because we don't lose and we need evidence to show that he didn't kill his girlfriend." I order her as I walk into my office, letting the heavy door fall closed behind me. I put my things on my desk before walking up to the client and shaking his hand.

He stands up to greet me. "Hello again, Ms. Pope." He says charmingly. I smile at his slicked backed hair and gray, three- piece business suit.

"Please, have a seat, Mr. Wate." I smile just as charmingly as he does when Quinn comes in with the coffee, she hands it to him and then comes to stand beside me, back to the client, and her voice in my ear. "Huck says he needs more time. The files are in deep. Like hard to access even for him." She informs me.

"Okay, just tell him to give me something when he has it." She nods before turning to face the client.

"Hi, I'm Quinn." She extends her hand as he stands to greet her. His hand goes into hers and he smiles once again. "I'll be helping Olivia on your case."

"Good to know." He says as he sits back down. My phone rings as we all get ready to talk about what happens next, what steps to take. I take a breath before giving him an apologetic face, rounding my desk and reaching into my purse. I lift out my phone and check the I.D.: White House. I roll my eyes. What does Cyrus want now? "Please excuse me." I say as I step out into the meeting room and click answer.

"Cy, I really can't talk. I with a client." I speak into my phone.

"It's not Cyrus, Liv." I hear his voice and I can already feel my chest tightening. How can he still have this effect on me? "Mr. President." I spoke in terms of a greeting.

"I want to see you, Liv. I need to." He pleads and I shake my head even though he can't see me.

"That can't happen, Fitz." I responded. I could see him in my head now, fondly and not in red. He in his chair or leaning on his desk, feet upon the beautiful wood and him not caring at all; him twirling one of his many objects in his hand as he cradles the phone between his shoulder and his neck or him looking outside as he holds it close to his ear.

"Livvie." His voice is deep and rumbling, the type that gets me to melt for him every time and for some reason, he only uses it for me. I wrestle myself. I shouldn't go. I should hang up and not talk to him again. I should do the right thing and listen to my brain.

If I go, we'll talk and it will lead to kisses. I'll cut him off and try to stop what we both know is about to happen. He'll say something and I will make the stupid decision of listening to my heart, my body. I'll end up pressed against the wall, out of the cameras view- just another stolen moment in the Oval Office. Later he'll call and we will talk, then we'll fight and the next day it will happen all over again. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. "Livvie." He begs with his voice lower, smoother, convincing. I click the call off and walk back into my office, grabbing my things. Quinn watches me shocked, "There's an emergency." I turn to the Client. "I am so sorry, Mr. Wate." I turn back to Quinn. "You take the reins." I tell her and she nods her head in that way that only Quinn can do. "Help Huck and go over the next steps with Mr. Wate." I tell her as I open the door from my office "I should only be 2 hours at the most." As I walk out of the office and to the elevator. I watch the numbers tick down as I put my coat on. I fix my collar and pull my hair out from beneath it, letting it fall around me. The elevator stops and I step in.

* * *

_**What do you think? -BWTB**_


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